Divorce is Seldom the Answer to a Troubled Marriage


Now I ran into a girl who'd been at a 7th grade English class I taught several years back.

I had not seen her for several years, however, on account of the church she had been raised in, I'd have presumed that divorce could have been something she would only consider as a last resort.

It had been, she explained, a last resort in her case.

Physical abuse, I agreed, is a very good reason to select divorce over attempting to heal a union. Other things, like infidelity, verbal disagreements, and even differences in values, although really damaging to a union, may be overcome.

If you're seriously thinking of divorce, it is probably simple for you to create a longlong list of the reasons why. When one or two of those motives don't seem all that important, when all of the reasons are placed together, it can depress one to the point where divorce sounds good to you.

Before you take that step however, why not make a list, ideally a long one, of the reasons why you need to remain a bit longer and try to work things out. Certainly all of those reasons can't have vanished entirely. List the unexpected matters he/or she does around the home without being asked; the skills displayed in parenting your children, consideration shown to you in your birthday or anniversary.

Consider for a while what it would be like if your partner were no longer there. Would you miss the calmness, that secure feeling of having somebody to share sorrows and successes that enter your life, and only the knowledge that you matter to someone else on earth.

Are you prepared to parent your children's alone, perhaps have to adapt to having one less income to meet household expenses, and also to figure out things you don't know how to do as your partner always did these things for you?

If you are still married, it isn't too late to give your marriage another try. Remember to step back and look at your marriage objectively to see if there is not a solution to some of those problems responsible for turning your home into a battlefield. If you've been wrong, swallow that pride and admit it.

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